First meeting with grandma and uncle Benji

My mom and Benji are here. I haven't seen them since last christmas. It's so nice to see them again! I didn't even know Benji was coming with. He's really turning out to be such a nice yung man. He got himself a job and, passed the tests to recieve his drivers licence not that long ago. I was worried about him when he dropped out of highschool, and it was such a waste too, cause he's a really smart kid. He reads a lot and, watches a lot of documentaries and, he's actually managed to survive the uncertainties of his childhood and come out of it with good values. He's one of the few 20-year-olds that you can actually have a interesting conversation with. It seems like he's getting his life together now. I'm so proud of him! I'll have to get him to hold little Peeper tomorrow so we can get some pictures. He doesn't like babies he says, they're so fragile and, he's afraid of hurting them. But Peeper is: cuter than he thought he would be, as newborns generally aren't very pretty, hehehehe. That's something Chrisse could have said back in the day.

It's so nice to see my mom too, but sad at the same time. Not just because I always have to watch myself so as not to let her get to close, but also because she's getting so old and tired. Still she's better than she's been in years, so I'm happy for her.



She wants to stay for at least 3 days as long as we're alright with that and, then she's going on to Michelle's to see little Elias and the other grandkids as well of course.

She's here to give my uncles dog back to him. She's been watching him while Rune was in Thailand. I'm so glad he can still travel like that. He'll be leaving soon again to go over there for 3 months. He's always been a restless soul. I think I have that after him. If I was sighted I would travel all the time.

It's a long time to be away when you have to leave a little dog behind, but it'll be good for my mom to watch him now that she has lost all 3 of hers so swiftly after one another. First vicky, with her inflamed uterus, then Molly who died of old age, and now Kela to diabetes just a week ago.

Strange, but Benji told me that Sebbe didn't even come home although it was his dog from the start, but he and Emelie left titti's place earlier to be able to go home and see her before she had to be put to sleep. He's been wierd over all lately though. He stayed with Michelle for a while to get away from home, but couldn't get enything going neither with work, school nor apartment. He's dad offered to set him up in Lanskrona, but he doesn't want to move there. I think it's stupid to say no, Johan can't be trusted and, there's still a lot to forgive, but you can't really say no to a job and an apartment these days. Either way he ended up calling Chrisse and telling her some story about not being welcome at Michelle's and not having enough money to eat and all kinds of bullshit, so Chrisse bought him a ticket to go back home. Turns out Michelle was expecting him the nenxt day though and he just never showed up and, if he didn't have anything to eat it was because he's been partying his ass off since he got there. Hmm this family of mine is so wierd...

But I guess I am kind of wierd too. Especially now since I quit the medicin to be able to brest feed this little miracle. I feel like I'm crying inside all the time. Though I know I have no reason to. I have the 2 most wonderful kids in the world and, I have B here with me still in spite of everything that we had to go through to get here. Though sometimes I still wonder if the wounds will ever heal and, if we'll ever regain the trust. At other times I wonder if it matters. Our life is plesent for the most part. We know how to take care of each other as long as we're together and, little Peeper Is the most wonderful proof of our love that anyone could ask for. Sure it's hard to never get enough sleep. There are nights when I don't even get an hour. Good thing I'm use to that from my days as a student. But I could really do with 6 hours of uninterupted sleep, as I'm getting too tired eeven to enjoy that Chrissie and her fiance and my dad are coming over tomorrow. But Peeper's terrible cold is still dragging on, so I'll Probably be sitting up with him for the most part as usual.

I wish he would hurry up and get well, so I could relax a little bit. I'm so afraid to lose him. So very afraid. Just the thought of it makes me cry sometimes.